I’m blowing out the anger, hurt and hate and breathing in the fresh air of rebirth and the sweet smell of life and renewal. Just as the rumbling storms sweep across the desert carrying destruction in their dark, billowing clouds, so I have weathered through a storm. And in the same way that life sits momentarily in silence, after the wind settles and the rain quiets, reveling in the sweet smelling air and the rejuvenating moisture seeping to their roots, so my world sits at the precipice of renewal and regrowth.
giving up the ghost
1. to stop trying to do something because you know that you will not succeed.
2. (intransitive, idiomatic) to cease clinging to life.
3. to die, or in the case of inanimate objects, to cease working.
In many things I’ve always been true to myself, but in some ways I’m just now emerging, discovering and letting go of other people’s expectations and pretenses. I’m giving up the ghost of what I’m not and embracing what I am.
This Self Portrait challenge began all the way back in Chiang Mai, Thailand to creatively and emotionally push myself by turning the camera around and exposing me; the good, the bad and (sometimes) the ugly. The very process of this personal project became therapeutic. Each image required an awareness of both the internal and external struggles that were at play in my life and the process of conceptualizing and communicating them to a greater audience lead me on a journey of self awareness and personal exploration. Take a peek at this! It was an honor to be mentioned along side some of photojournalism greats in the Best of Photojournalism 2012.